Verynasty

So every silver lining has a cloud right? And the stinky, noisy, piss soaked, shit filled, brass-freaking-band playing, unfriendly cloud of India for me was Varanasi.

BIG DISCLAIMER: This is absolutely only my opinion (and Kerry's to be fair). I have met heaps of other travelers who loved Varanasi. Some considered it their absolute highlight. Clearly none of them have a sense of smell but I'm not one to judge.
(freaks)

We really, really wanted to go to Varanasi. So much so that when Diwali passenger loads meant we couldn't get a train from Agra we rearranged our entire travel plan and spent some extra dollars on a flight to make it work. So it's not like we didn't plan to like Varanasi, it just didn't work out for us.

Varanasi and Damascus are currently having words over which is the oldest city in the World. But every single person in India will tell you categorically that it's Varanasi. So it's to be expected that it's not going to be shiny and new. But in our walk from the tuk tuk to our hostel, I counted five types of feaces on the footpath. Now this might not sound like the funnest version on 'eye-spy' I could be playing but when the footpath is the about half a foot wider than your ruck sack and literally smeared with shite, you keep an eye out.

But this is the stuff you're absolutely expecting when you plan a trip to India. What you're not expecting is, for example, a brass band to start up under your window/flyscreen at 2 am and play for four hours. And not even a GOOD brass band. The dude on trumpet was clearly a brass virgin and/or had some kind of rodent living in his mouthpiece.

You're expecting the Ganges to be polluted (apparently 1.5 million particles of shit per litre when it should only be 500 according to the WHO and I'd like to have some words with them about that much even!)and have lots of floating material. You're not expecting for one of the floating bits to be a toothbrush you've just seen someone throw in. After they finished BRUSHING THEIR TEETH in the water.

You're expecting touts to try to get you to their silk shop, take their sight seeing tour, get in their boat. You're not expecting them to follow you for miles relentlessly asking you, telling you blatant lies in the attempt to divert you or materialise for the first time at your table while you have breakfast and reveal they've been monitoring your every move and can tell you what you've been doing for the last three hours.

You're expecting all kinds of spirituality and religious exhibitions - this is why you came to Varanasi. What I wasn't expecting - and I suspect this is at the heart of it and why I include the MASSIVE DISCLAIMER - was to be completely unmoved by it. I am fundamentally NOT a spiritual person. I'm an atheist, I don't believe in life after death or reincarnation, I'm really quite cynical about westerners in particular who've 'found their spiritual path' in India. Lighting candles and setting them afloat- more freaking pollution in an already overwhelmed river. Puja to a variety of Gods at dawn - fine, knock yourself out but if I don't want to stand on the sidelines and gurn at you while you do it, that's my choice. Washing away your bad karma by dunking yourself three times in the Ganges - nice knowing you. You mentlar.

Maybe if I believed in something 'other', the obvious faith of the pilgrims, the boisterous ceremonies and reveling-in-all-things-holy would have helped me to see past all the other stuff. But I don't. So it didn't and Varanasi will always be Verynasty to me.