Sorry folks

So I opened the year all sunshiney and full of the joys. And since then I’ve basically whined at you. Angry ranting can be funny. Full blown dramas and high levels of stress can be interesting to read about in other people’s lives. But a low-level grade of low-level whinging is BORING in the extreme. And anyway, what in the sweet mother of fuck have I got to whinge about? The sun is (mostly) shining, my cats are (currently) healthy and I’m going home to Ireland in a few months to meet my brand new nephew (assuming I have my leave approved).

So thanks for your patience while I got that out of my system. We will now resume our normal broadcast.

If you're not looking for a whinge stop reading

I'm back in improv classes. This, for the large part, is fun. Lots of fun in fact. So much fun that I don't mint that it makes an already long day longer. I currently get up at 5.00 am to go to boot camp on a Tuesday morning. Although this is the last week for that.

Anyway last night I was in the throes of an improv exercises and I got thrown into a wall. It was unintentional and the other party involved in the incident was very contrite. I have sustained the tiniest little bruise to my baby finger on my right hand and one slightly larger one above my right elbow. My baby finger looks a bit swollen and is REALLY sore to touch.

Here's a list of things that you use your baby finger for that are tricky to avoid:

1. Turning your car's steering wheel to the right
2. Washing your hair
3. Brushing your teeth
4. Push ups (this will be less relevant after Thursday when I finish bootcamp for a while)
5. Shaking hands
6. Carrying bags by the handles
7. Clearing multiple glasses off a table
8. Using a joystick mouse

Doesn't my life sound pure dead exciting by the way?

Making an effort

Every now and then I get told off for being slack at updating this. It immediately inspires me to write more. Can you all please get together and take it in turns to remind me, say once a week. Then you'll never need to get angry again.

Anyway, on with the post. I went to this at the weekend. It was great. I recommend it.

What surprised me was the ratio of food to wine. Wine far, far, far outstripped the food. Which was nice. I had stuff to do that night so I couldn't take full advantage of the range on offer but next year I'm going to book out my diary for a solid 36 hours and really go for it.

In other news my half marathon training is going badly. I've been doing this thinking that this plus a long run on the weekend would see me all set. That is not the case. My strength is better, my stamina is shot to shit. Also I think I'm nudging a quad, calf AND knee injury and worried about writing myself off totally. Or I could just need new trainers.

Jesus. I'm boring myself.

I will reflect on what needs ranting about and be back soon. Honest folks.

What's in a name?

I have one of those surnames that people can't pronounce. They sort of slur through it and race to the end in the hope that I won't notice that they have no idea how to say it. And they needn't bother. I really don't mind. It's a tricky name. And the reason that it's tricky is becasue it's uncommon. Gallagher should be a tricky name to pronounce but Gallaghers are two-a-penny so everyone can.

My first name is not particularly tricky. Most people know a Lorraine or are at least familiar with the name. Although there are a variety of spellings for it. Mine is the traditional version but I've seen 'Laurraine', 'Loraine' and 'Lauraine' used. And in the case of NZ Immigration, who are generally speaking a bunch of morons, I've seen my own name spelled Lorriane. Despite the fact that they had every single piece of documentation in the entire world that had ever had my name written on it ever.

Anyway, it's not a super common name but I have met significantly more 'Lorraines' than I have met 'Brehenys' (or at least Brehenys who are not related to me).

Anyway the point is that my name is not a 'John Smith' kind of name.

So I was reasonably surprised to start getting emails to my hotmail account for someone with the same name but who wasn't me. There was one over Xmas then one early in the new year. But I logged on to Hotmail on Thursday to find a heap of 'reply all' emails about a netball game this week in England somewhere. So I sent them all this email:

Hi folks,

There are two Lorraine Brehenys in the world - what are the chances?!?

This particular Lorraine Breheny, writing to you from this particular hotmail address, enjoys keeping fit; but prefers individual to team sports.

Also I currently live in New Zealand.

So thanks for your invites to play in your team but it's not terribly practical. And think of the carbon footprint! I don't have the email address for the Lorraine Breheny I think you are probably trying to write to. It seems that quite a few of her friends and family have recently acquired mine though!

Best of luck finding an umpire.

Cheers

Lorraine Breheny (well obviously)

Understandably I got a slew of new emails form them apologising and declaring themselves stunned to hear from a second Lorraine Breheny. More surprisingly, a couple of them went on to invite me to come and have a drink with them should I ever be in the UK. One person would even like to become a pen pall or, as she put it, 'email buddy'. Based on my name and a couple of sentences (which in retrospect could be read as being a bit caustic), these people would like to be friends with a second Lorraine Breheny. It seems that one is not enough.

I can understand that.