tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273351262024-03-19T21:30:50.151+13:00flow of consciousnessRanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.comBlogger163125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-16439362631881543062011-11-08T03:03:00.003+13:002011-11-08T03:23:14.824+13:00A whistlestop tourIn case anything in the last two posts suggested otherwise, I want to be really clear. I am LOVING India. I'm covered in flea and mosquito bites, I'm sunburnt, I've been sick, last night I narrowly avoided snuggling up to sleep with a leech and a mouse just ran over my foot. And I am as happy as a pig in shit (and I've seen heaps of them here too). <br /><br />So in no particular order below are some of the highlights that have made this trip incredible so far.<br /><br />1. Arriving in New Delhi and instantly loving it. I'm not going to lie, I was worried that I'd find India a bridge too far and overwhelming. Not the case. Hurray for that.<br />2. Getting to spend lots of quality time with old, old, old buildings. I miss old buildings. A Lot. I've had enough of a top up to keep me going for a few years now. The Taj was an expected highlight but the Amber Fort in Jaipur was also incredible and the temple complex at Khajuraho was gob smacking (and not just the dirty bits).<br />3. The friendly, charming, funny people we've met. I'd definitely say we've met more in the South than we did in the North but generally, people outside the tourist industry everywhere have been smiley, chatty and fascinated by our lives. Special shout out to Salim who made our 6 hour trip to Munnar hoon by by asking a million questions and telling me all about his life.<br />4. Two days on a backwater boat in Kerala. Possibly the most relaxing thing I've ever done in my life; and after the madness of Delhi, Jaipur, Agra and Varanassi it was perfectly timed.<br />5. I'm not going to bang on about the food again. It's incredible. Especially if you're vegetarian. The end.<br />6. How cheap it is to travel here. You can see amazing things, eat well, sleep comfortably and travel in style on a very small amount of money compared to most other countries. <br />7. Driving around tea plantations and waterfalls today with a chatty, helpful driver who pulled out all stops to help us get the next bit of the journey sorted.<br />8. Getting to travel with me auld mate Kez. Can't believe it's taken us decades to do this!Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-23008494250237543662011-11-08T02:00:00.008+13:002011-11-08T02:39:32.012+13:00VerynastySo every silver lining has a cloud right? And the stinky, noisy, piss soaked, shit filled, brass-freaking-band playing, unfriendly cloud of India for me was Varanasi. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">BIG DISCLAIMER: This is absolutely only my opinion (and Kerry's to be fair). I have met heaps of other travelers who loved Varanasi. Some considered it their absolute highlight. Clearly none of them have a sense of smell but I'm not one to judge</span>. <br />(freaks)<br /><br />We really, really wanted to go to Varanasi. So much so that when Diwali passenger loads meant we couldn't get a train from Agra we rearranged our entire travel plan and spent some extra dollars on a flight to make it work. So it's not like we didn't plan to like Varanasi, it just didn't work out for us.<br /><br />Varanasi and Damascus are currently having words over which is the oldest city in the World. But every single person in India will tell you categorically that it's Varanasi. So it's to be expected that it's not going to be shiny and new. But in our walk from the tuk tuk to our hostel, I counted five types of feaces on the footpath. Now this might not sound like the funnest version on 'eye-spy' I could be playing but when the footpath is the about half a foot wider than your ruck sack and literally smeared with shite, you keep an eye out.<br /><br />But this is the stuff you're absolutely expecting when you plan a trip to India. What you're not expecting is, for example, a brass band to start up under your window/flyscreen at 2 am and play for four hours. And not even a GOOD brass band. The dude on trumpet was clearly a brass virgin and/or had some kind of rodent living in his mouthpiece.<br /><br />You're expecting the Ganges to be polluted (apparently 1.5 million particles of shit per litre when it should only be 500 according to the WHO and I'd like to have some words with them about that much even!)and have lots of floating material. You're not expecting for one of the floating bits to be a toothbrush you've just seen someone throw in. After they finished BRUSHING THEIR TEETH in the water.<br /><br />You're expecting touts to try to get you to their silk shop, take their sight seeing tour, get in their boat. You're not expecting them to follow you for miles relentlessly asking you, telling you blatant lies in the attempt to divert you or materialise for the first time at your table while you have breakfast and reveal they've been monitoring your every move and can tell you what you've been doing for the last three hours.<br /><br />You're expecting all kinds of spirituality and religious exhibitions - this is why you came to Varanasi. What I wasn't expecting - and I suspect this is at the heart of it and why I include the MASSIVE DISCLAIMER - was to be completely unmoved by it. I am fundamentally NOT a spiritual person. I'm an atheist, I don't believe in life after death or reincarnation, I'm really quite cynical about westerners in particular who've 'found their spiritual path' in India. Lighting candles and setting them afloat- more freaking pollution in an already overwhelmed river. Puja to a variety of Gods at dawn - fine, knock yourself out but if I don't want to stand on the sidelines and gurn at you while you do it, that's my choice. Washing away your bad karma by dunking yourself three times in the Ganges - nice knowing you. You mentlar.<br /><br />Maybe if I believed in something 'other', the obvious faith of the pilgrims, the boisterous ceremonies and reveling-in-all-things-holy would have helped me to see past all the other stuff. But I don't. So it didn't and Varanasi will always be Verynasty to me.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-15380483176483420222011-11-08T01:06:00.006+13:002011-11-08T01:42:00.727+13:00Formal feedback processWell hello there folks and sorry for the delay. But when we've wifi or access to internet we're generally trying to figure out the next bit of the trip. Now that we're almost all the way figured out, I can actually update on some of it.<br /><br />And in true corporate wanker style I thought I'd do a wee Stop Start Continue on India to give you an overview of what's good, what's bad and what's needed. Here goes.<br /><br />So hey, India, thanks for making the time to meet and run through your performance to date. There were big expectations set at the start of this process so half way through I thought a little debrief on how we're both doing is in order. You're doing an incredible job and overall I'm delighted with how it's going but I wanted to document a few small things so we both know what we need to work on, and keep doing from here. <span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><br />India, here are some things that need to stop.</span><br />Please stop beeping horns when you are literally three inches from my face. I will jump every time, I will feel like a dick every time, I will say something unladylike. Every time.<br />Please stop surreptitiously filming and photographing us. We're happy to be in your photos and videos when you ask. Very happy. But it's creepy when we catch you doing it sneakily.<br />Please stop the hocking. It makes me gag like you would not believe. Which I realise is sort of ironic. If you really, really need to clear your entire respiratory system in one hit, and it seems that you constantly do, please find a soundproof chamber to do it in. And please note, the next table in the restaurant I'm eating Palak Paneer in does not qualify.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />India, here are some things that need to start.</span><br />Please begin some kind of waste management system. Human, animal, hazardous, recyclable... You name it; You need it.<br />Please begin a road improvement initiative. I saw someone washing an elephant in a pot hole puddle today. That is absolutely not a joke.<br />Please consider constructing internet cafes that are bigger than a fridge. Trust me, us foreigners will stick around longer when our noses don't touch the screen and the exhaust fan from the computer isn't melting our toe-nail varnish.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />India, this is the nice bit. Which is why we pop it on the end. Here are the things you need to continue.</span><br />Please continue creating the most incredible food I have ever had at the most outrageously cheap prices. Two drinks and massive, delicious thallis for $4 today - love your work. I thought I'd get sick of curry every day, up to three times a day. I was deluded beyond all measure. I thought about putting 'add another time in the day for curry' in the <span style="font-weight:bold;">Start</span> section.<br />Please continue to have the best train system for practically nothing in the world. 13 hours in air con for $7.50? That's outstanding - go you!<br />Please continue to be exactly as diverse, fascinating, beautiful, shocking, funny, friendly, haggley, musical, spiritual, generous and amused by foreigners as you currently are- you've got it just right.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-21362453505915371752011-11-02T00:49:00.003+13:002011-11-02T01:15:17.918+13:00RWC - Day1We had agreed that there were two major things we wanted to do in New Delhi. See the Red Fort an find somewhere to watch the Rugby World Cup Final. There's something ironic about two Irish girls, who until recently didn't give a shite about rugby, watching the final in India, where they still really, really don't. Ker and I were pretty confident that the All Blacks going to romp pretty conclusively to victory and we'd probably got used to being in the vast majority. So when it started to get a bit borderline and we were surrounded by French supporters it was pretty freaking tense and that final offside call was the most relieved I've felt in ages. <br /><br />The staff, in what is generally a blues bar and restaurant, seemed completely bewildered by our level of excitement. When we asked that they consider switching off Billie Holliday and turn on the commentary it created some consternation. But the Manager was incredibly accommodating even though it meant pulling the PA out of it's housing to muck around with cables. Still, that didn't stop them from accidentally switching to the cricket at one point. Pretty much the whole bar made their feelings clear at that point and it switched back pretty quickly.<br /><br />And the French cleared out pretty quickly once the final whistle was blown - nice!Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-26636740814818206252011-11-02T00:39:00.008+13:002011-11-02T01:14:50.352+13:00Diwali - Day 4<div>Would you look at that - we've finally made it to freaking India. After years of talking about it, planning it, speculating about daily budgets, culture shock and Delhi Belly we're here. And yet again I'm reminded that when I travel, I'm like the <a href="http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/Humor/otherhumor/dog_cat_diary.htm">dog in the dog's diary </a>thing. Everything I see, do, taste and experience is my new favourite thing. Obviously I love being on holiday, having an agenda set pretty much entirely by me and not having to do the dishes for a month. But I also love the constant newness, encountering something utterly foreign, figuring out different money, researching for months and yet still being surprised by how little I know about certain places and cultures and negotiating different mores and methods of communication. And India give you all of that stuff in SPADES. And it's all my new favourite thing.<br /><br />So four days in the highlights are many and I've already taken hundreds of photographs and eaten some of the nicest things I ever have (no sign of DB yet) and I'm sure there's plenty more of all of that to come.<br /><br />Today is Diwali (The Festival of Lights and Hindu equivalent of Xmas Day). As a first timer it's hard to know what Delhi, Jaipur and Agra would be like on a normal week but they're pretty fun, noisy and crazy busy this week. The scrum to get into the general sleepers on the Jaipur-Agra train was pretty incredible (Ker and I were in allocated seats so it was much easier at our part of the train). Last night we sat on a relatively peaceful rooftop (imagine 1,000 voices shouting, a 100 horns honking and massive rockets going off every few seconds - but 50 metres further away than they have been for the last eight hours) and looked down over strings of tinsel and fairy lights and across at intermittent, random fireworks and I for one was pretty stoked with our timing of the trip. It was a shame to miss the RWC final in Auckland and associated party but I think Diwali at the Taj might be about to put that in perspective. Standby for confirmation. </div>Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-82098706436022438682010-08-31T16:38:00.002+12:002010-08-31T16:50:30.264+12:00MousemobileThe other week Andrew and I were driving around Aucks when I opened my glove compartment and a strange sight awaited me. Lots of tiny bits of paper and shredded tissue and some strange brown gravelly stuff.<br /><br />Andrew: Um, I think you have a mouse…living in your car…let me check… yep, that’s defo mouse poo in your glove compartment next to all of the tiny bits of paper. That’s what mice do when they’re making a nest.<br />Lorraine: Are you freaking kidding me??? Where? How did it get in? Where is it now? Sweet freaking mother of JESUS.<br />Andrew: Chill out, it’s just a tiny little mouse and it’s probably splattered in your cam belt by now… blah blah blah <br /><br />At this point he offers to taste the poo to see how old it is. I think this was a joke.<br /><br />What follows is more “I’m a vet and tough guy and have no concerns about a tiny little mouse, so this is actually quite funny and I am going to make lots of jokes rakking you up about having a mouse infested car, which let’s face it is a little bit skanky until you say….”<br />Lorraine: Well I think if it is building a nest it’s probably going to be enjoying all of your lovely warm ski gear that’s been in my boot for a week since we picked it up from your Mum’s barn out on your farm… that you commented smelled a little bit mousey….hey…actually….<br />Andrew: Balls.<br /><br />So we open the boot of my car and start pulling out his ski gear (well he does, I’m slowly inching away until I’m eventually about ten feet from the car). Jacket –intact. Trousers – intact. Brand new ski boots that he bought last season and only actually wore about ten times…uh oh. He opens the box and there are a million little bits of paper and material, stuff that looks like foamy stuffing… the kind of thing that you might use to stuff the insert bit of a ski boot. He lifts the boot out and it is STUFFED with bits of straw and paper and leaves. Basically a mouse nest. He starts pulling it all out and out scampers a little grey mouse and off it bolts under my car. His ski boot is RUINED. Poos.<br /><br />Months ago I did a ‘winter warmers’ promo for work where we gave booksellers who took a certain selection of books hot chocolate and toffee pops. I got a bit extra so there were about seven packs in the back of my car. The little fecker took a bite out of every single one. That mouse is going to be in need of a dentist at some stage soon. So it had been living in my car, hooning around Aucks, fine dining on Toffee Pops and doing little tours of the car by night before snuggling up in it’s lovely warm ski boot at the end of the night. Ah bless. Stuart Little move the hell over! Little bleeder.<br /><br />But that's not the end of the story. Oh no.<br /><br />Turns out it was MICE not MOUSE and there was car swapping and dismantling and all kinds of shenanigans before we concluded that the second little guy must have bailed at some stage because all of the food was gone gone gone from the car apart from the bait in the traps but that was/is untouched.<br /><br />At least I'm hoping s/he escaped and isn't dead of tooth decay and cholesterol down the back of the passenger seat or similar.<br /><br />Although my car does go back to the dealership in November so maybe it's not such a big deal either way....Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-19126413259232018362010-08-31T13:51:00.006+12:002010-08-31T14:15:10.151+12:00Yes yes it's been a while blah blah blahPhew. Glad we got that out of the way.<br /><br />Well what's happened since April?<br /><br />HEAPS. <br /><br />Loads of really big stuff. But if you know me well enough to care you'll know all the important stuff. So if you don't know me well enough to care or you already know the big stuff what you'll actually want is the little funny things.<br /><br />Here are some little / funny things that I will elaborate about in the coming weeks:<br /><br />1 My (late model, reasonably flash and all-too-importantly COMPANY) car had mice<br />2 My house nearly exploded<br />3 I met my brand new nephew and he's a freaking genius/superstar/the most beautiful child in the worldRanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-14088019344904881382010-04-21T11:12:00.006+12:002010-04-21T11:19:18.949+12:00GeneticThere's a phrase we use in Ireland that I really love but don't get to use enough because no one understands it in NZ. When you're talking about a person who has a similar trait or mannerism to their parents you say 'Well he/she didn't lick that up off the stones'. Like it's a virus or some kind of bacteria.<br /><br />I'm not sure why I love it but I do.<br /><br />Anyway this morning my Mum emailed me and my two sisters about my trip home later this year. Below is an extract:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Have been out practically every night since that mad bitch Mary arrived. So far we have had two 5.30am sessions, and one 6,30am. The birds were singing and it was daylight when we were getting to bed. She was supposed to be going home yesterday, but due to the volcano she obviously couldn't. Just made a booking for her to go home and the earliest flight is next Wednesday <br />the 28th I will be offline for some time after that, because by then I will be booking in for my liver transplant. The only good thing is that we are now both penniless, so maybe my liver detox can start, and maybe my own liver can regenerate itself.</span><br /><br />I think that tells you everything you need to know about my genetic make up.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-57620856173982195852010-03-29T14:59:00.003+13:002010-03-29T15:11:45.717+13:00WeekendsI had the best weekend. Although I did have one of those hangovers that makes you want to kill yourself for not realising that shots of whiskey are never, ever a good idea.<br /><br />Next weekend I will be at a lake engaging in watersports. I have yet to find a watersport I don't enjoy so this should be fun. Hopefully it will be warm fun and not windy, cold, rainy fun. Although that's the kind of fun that can also involve books. I like books too. It is, of course, my job to like books (and make other people like books) but that's not something I have to work hard at.<br /><br />So, since a few peeps have asked me recently what books they should read, below are some of my picks form the last twelve months or so:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.randomhouse.co.nz/Book_Display_46.aspx?CategoryId=7&ProductId=445332">Cutting for Stone</a><br /><a href="http://www.randomhouse.co.nz/Book_Display_46.aspx?CategoryId=8&ProductId=468682">The Solitude of Prime Numbers</a><br /><a href="http://www.randomhouse.co.nz/Book_Display_46.aspx?CategoryId=8&ProductId=463792">The Selected Works of T S Spivet</a><br /><a href="http://www.randomhouse.co.nz/Book_Display_46.aspx?CategoryId=8&ProductId=472932">The Night Book</a><br /><a href="http://www.randomhouse.co.nz/Book_Display_46.aspx?CategoryId=8&ProductId=471164">The Blasphemer</a><br /><a href="http://www.randomhouse.co.nz/Book_Display_46.aspx?CategoryId=8&ProductId=469323">Small Wars</a><br /><br />You should read them next weekend.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-20279526532086196292010-03-24T18:15:00.005+13:002010-03-24T18:32:26.073+13:00End of SummerSummer is sort of sputtering to an end in NZ. The nights are chilly, the weather is unpredictable. I came to work today in trousers, a top and a denim jacket. By 9.00 I'd taken off the jacket because it was sweltering and I haven't put it back on since. But it's rained a fair bit.<br /><br />Why am I talking about the weather? Why am I giving you information you can get more succinctly via the met service? Well I'm making the point that it's that funny interim point of the year where your hair style, clothes, shoes and transport plans for the day need to be constantly amended in line with what is currently happening at that very second. Distracting.<br /><br />Also that as we approach one of the bestest weekends of the year (Easter - it's an extra long weekend at the very end of the summer when no one feels obliged to be doing family stuff so everyone can do pretty much exactly what they like), I'm constantly looking for weather reassurance that it's going to be a stunner. <br /><br />Dear Weather Gods,<br /><br />The pressure is on for Easter Weather Gods. Please make it bee you tea full. Or I'll spew. I'm planning to acquire a new sport and it's a weather dependant one. So co-operate please. In return I promise to whinge less about winter this year (helped significantly by having insulation and heating.... and floors, walls and doors for that matter!). I will also not complain if the Irish Summer does not deliver while I am home.<br /><br />Warm (ha ha) regards<br /><br />Lozza<br /><br />PS While I'm talking to you, can you please pass on my thanks to your buddies The Leave Gods for finally getting my annual leave approved today. I really appreciate it.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-39106144072420992902010-03-05T09:12:00.006+13:002010-03-05T09:21:10.631+13:00Reasons to live in AucklandI'm feeling pretty blissed out on NZ, and specifically Aucks, today. Just had the most stunning drive to work and lots of friendly interactions along the way.<br /><br />1. The lights of the city as you drive towards it from The Shore after dark<br />2. The sun on the water as you drive away from the city towards The Shore<br />3. The free stuff to do put on by the council; outdoor cinemas, concerts in parks, suburb festivals...<br />4. Volcanoes make for an interesting view from pretty much anywhere<br />5. The Waitakeres<br />6. The West coast beaches<br />7. People are just nice while they sell you coffee, cat food, petrol... whatever really. And all before 8.00 am!<br />8. Great bars, cafes, restaurants to catch up with mates in and talk for hours over two glasses of wine<br />9. Summer<br />10. This is really a kiwi one but... it's the weekend ahead of everywhere else in the world<br /><br />Three cheers for Auckland folks, and if you don't live here COME AND VISIT.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-57213625548965053222010-02-24T14:12:00.001+13:002010-02-24T14:12:55.670+13:00Sorry folksSo I opened the year all sunshiney and full of the joys. And since then I’ve basically whined at you. Angry ranting can be funny. Full blown dramas and high levels of stress can be interesting to read about in other people’s lives. But a low-level grade of low-level whinging is BORING in the extreme. And anyway, what in the sweet mother of fuck have I got to whinge about? The sun is (mostly) shining, my cats are (currently) healthy and I’m going home to Ireland in a few months to meet my brand new nephew (assuming I have my leave approved).<br /><br />So thanks for your patience while I got that out of my system. We will now resume our normal broadcast.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-68267200982990721052010-02-24T11:42:00.002+13:002010-02-24T12:12:44.655+13:00If you're not looking for a whinge stop readingI'm back in improv classes. This, for the large part, is fun. Lots of fun in fact. So much fun that I don't mint that it makes an already long day longer. I currently get up at 5.00 am to go to boot camp on a Tuesday morning. Although this is the last week for that.<br /><br />Anyway last night I was in the throes of an improv exercises and I got thrown into a wall. It was unintentional and the other party involved in the incident was very contrite. I have sustained the tiniest little bruise to my baby finger on my right hand and one slightly larger one above my right elbow. My baby finger looks a bit swollen and is REALLY sore to touch.<br /><br />Here's a list of things that you use your baby finger for that are tricky to avoid:<br /><br />1. Turning your car's steering wheel to the right<br />2. Washing your hair<br />3. Brushing your teeth<br />4. Push ups (this will be less relevant after Thursday when I finish bootcamp for a while)<br />5. Shaking hands<br />6. Carrying bags by the handles<br />7. Clearing multiple glasses off a table<br />8. Using a joystick mouse<br /><br />Doesn't my life sound pure dead exciting by the way?Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-38272329363475444422010-02-23T12:12:00.002+13:002010-02-23T12:20:49.119+13:00Making an effortEvery now and then I get told off for being slack at updating this. It immediately inspires me to write more. Can you all please get together and take it in turns to remind me, say once a week. Then you'll never need to get angry again.<br /><br />Anyway, on with the post. I went to <a href="http://www.devonportwinefestival.co.nz/">this</a> at the weekend. It was great. I recommend it. <br /><br />What surprised me was the ratio of food to wine. Wine far, far, far outstripped the food. Which was nice. I had stuff to do that night so I couldn't take full advantage of the range on offer but next year I'm going to book out my diary for a solid 36 hours and really go for it.<br /><br />In other news my half marathon training is going badly. I've been doing <a href="http://www.teamtraining.co.nz">this</a> thinking that this plus a long run on the weekend would see me all set. That is not the case. My strength is better, my stamina is shot to shit. Also I think I'm nudging a quad, calf AND knee injury and worried about writing myself off totally. Or I could just need new trainers.<br /><br />Jesus. I'm boring myself. <br /><br />I will reflect on what needs ranting about and be back soon. Honest folks.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-35935113461425642242010-02-22T16:45:00.003+13:002010-02-22T17:12:32.530+13:00What's in a name?I have one of those surnames that people can't pronounce. They sort of slur through it and race to the end in the hope that I won't notice that they have no idea how to say it. And they needn't bother. I really don't mind. It's a tricky name. And the reason that it's tricky is becasue it's uncommon. Gallagher should be a tricky name to pronounce but Gallaghers are two-a-penny so everyone can.<br /><br />My first name is not particularly tricky. Most people know a Lorraine or are at least familiar with the name. Although there are a variety of spellings for it. Mine is the traditional version but I've seen 'Laurraine', 'Loraine' and 'Lauraine' used. And in the case of NZ Immigration, who are generally speaking a bunch of morons, I've seen my own name spelled Lorr<strong>iane</strong>. Despite the fact that they had every single piece of documentation in the entire world that had ever had my name written on it ever. <br /><br />Anyway, it's not a super common name but I have met significantly more 'Lorraines' than I have met 'Brehenys' (or at least Brehenys who are not related to me).<br /><br />Anyway the point is that my name is not a 'John Smith' kind of name.<br /><br />So I was reasonably surprised to start getting emails to my hotmail account for someone with the same name but who wasn't me. There was one over Xmas then one early in the new year. But I logged on to Hotmail on Thursday to find a heap of 'reply all' emails about a netball game this week in England somewhere. So I sent them all this email:<br /><br />Hi folks,<br /><br />There are two Lorraine Brehenys in the world - what are the chances?!?<br /><br />This particular Lorraine Breheny, writing to you from this particular hotmail address, enjoys keeping fit; but prefers individual to team sports.<br /><br />Also I currently live in New Zealand. <br /><br />So thanks for your invites to play in your team but it's not terribly practical. And think of the carbon footprint! I don't have the email address for the Lorraine Breheny I think you are probably trying to write to. It seems that quite a few of her friends and family have recently acquired mine though!<br /><br />Best of luck finding an umpire.<br /><br />Cheers<br /><br />Lorraine Breheny (well obviously) <br /><br />Understandably I got a slew of new emails form them apologising and declaring themselves stunned to hear from a second Lorraine Breheny. More surprisingly, a couple of them went on to invite me to come and have a drink with them should I ever be in the UK. One person would even like to become a pen pall or, as she put it, 'email buddy'. Based on my name and a couple of sentences (which in retrospect could be read as being a bit caustic), these people would like to be friends with a second Lorraine Breheny. It seems that one is not enough.<br /><br />I can understand that.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-43563681106915911262010-01-20T17:43:00.002+13:002010-01-20T17:56:20.829+13:00A list of things I can't be bothered with at the moment1. Going to the supermarket. I used to love grocery shopping. It was fun. Because it was shopping. And shopping = fun. I'm not sure what changed but now it bores the face off me. and it's sort of mandatory if you want to have lunch/dinner/clean teeth etc. I hate it.<br />2. Learning how to use my new phone. Yes I'm sure it does a Brazilian very cool things. But I'm not interested in any of them. Fuck off with your synchronising and telling me when my next hair appointment is. I want to send texts without the use of a freakin stylus and I want something smaller than my handbag to cart around...well... in my handbag.<br />3. Sorting out house stuff. I need my front garden mowed, a flatmate, a window fixed, an alarm, deck steps, more bokashi mix.... it's endless and little fiddly stuff that I can't be bothered with. Now if it needed a new bathroom or a second level... that I could get behind! Would anyone like to buy my house off me?<br />4. Five day weeks. It's been a while and frankly I'm comfortable with that. Blah Blah, you've probably heard me bang on about this before but we are the most evolved animal on the planet. Why do we spend all of our time at stupid auld work? so we can afford mortgages on houses that need things done to them all of the time? Boring.<br />5. My laptop being broken. This just sucks. Stupid broken screen. Stupid.<br /><br />Whine over. For now. Thanks for listening. I have lots of lovely stuff that i can absolutely be bothered about. But that's for another entry.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-78366376416691604372010-01-11T15:03:00.003+13:002010-01-11T15:08:29.430+13:00First day backIt's the first day back in the office. It's summer in NZ so lots of people are still on leave and there's still very much a holiday vibe around the place. But at the end of the day i'm back at work on a sunny day in NZ and there are a million better things I could be doing with the day if I'm honest. And even (possibly especially) if I'm not honest.<br /><br />But sure, there you go. Got to earn some money one way or the other I suppose.<br /><br />So what should we talk about? Oh yes. That's right. I'm off to <a href="http://www.bigdayout.com/auckland.php">this</a> on Friday. That should be fun.<br />You should come. We'll have fun.<br /><br />It's probably not the most exciting line up I've ever seen but I've never been to a BDO in NZ so this year I'm going. Yay. <br /><br />Right that's enough meaderings. Check out the link and be suitably jealous. I'm off.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-45578030826509844742010-01-06T13:37:00.002+13:002010-01-06T13:51:45.949+13:002010We made it folks. For some of us, I expect it was touch and go for a bit. I had a few of my own close shaves, mostly alcohol related. But we scraped through, managed not to die and we've got a whole new sparkly year to have a shot at.<br /><br />I for one am feeling pretty positive about 2010. I don't generally consider myself a pessimist to be fair and I I'm not trying to say we're fated or anything is pre-destined. But it's sunny out, I'm still on holiday and I'm having a lovely day hanging out in my house with me Ma. So I thought I'd share some good vibes.<br /><br />If I did believe in 'signs' I'd probably be less positive. I kicked off 2010 vomiting for four days, my Mum's still sick and my poor sisters got shafted by shonky travel agency and ended up taking 40 hours to complete a 26 hour journey home do sub zero Ireland.<br /><br />I'm not one for new year's resolutions but I do have some big goals for 2010. I won't bore you with the full set but since I've committed to (but failed to achieve) this one before I'll confirm that this year I absolutely, categorically, 100% going to run a half marathon in under two hours.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-13369283894424771812009-12-18T16:13:00.003+13:002009-12-18T16:22:09.819+13:00This time next week......I will be in Bali. That's right folks, the Breheny Clan are doing their annual 'Let's meet up somewhere lovely' extravaganza. I am really looking forward to it and at the same time PANICKING about what needs to be sorted before I go.<br /><br />I'm generally pretty cruisey when I travel. I'm not too worried about running out of clothes or forgetting anything other than my passport and credit card. But this time my Mum's coming back with me which means I need to sort the house out AND (more importantly) I also need to arrange for the cats to be fed. Generally not a prob, the flatties are very obliging but this is Xmas folks and the flattie is going to be away. Tricky. We will find a solution however. I just wish I hadn't left it to the week before to find it!<br /><br />In other news, work is mental, I'm having a BBQ/party at my house this weekend for my birthday and I've got stuff on pretty much every night right up to Xmas. So perfectly set up for some gentle housework and catsitter arranging.<br /><br />Gah.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-17592306645574204872009-12-14T18:06:00.003+13:002009-12-14T18:22:30.063+13:00ChristmasNow I know it's an absolute stereotype to be totally unprepared for Xmas. But there you go. I'm a stereotype. I haven't done a freaking thing. This weekend looked like this:<br /><br /><strong>Friday</strong>: Work, Xmas party, Jeff's gig, home at 2.00 am, big chats with Claire, bed at 3.00 am<br /><strong>Saturday</strong>: Eight hour improv workshop on 'being in the moment'. It was great. Really really cool but I'm not sure that I was able to give it 100%, what with the dehydration and lack of sleep. Went to Jeff's with Kez for DVD and Thai food. Home at midnight to call SPCA because there was a puppy in a truck outside my house that had been there when I left at 7.30. Sort that, bed by 1.00. <br /><strong>Sunday</strong>: Up at 8.00 for 16km run. Whip out to beach to hang out with Godson and his current legal guardians (or 'parents' as they like to refer to themselves). We go to the park, we visit the beach. I apply a nappy to a babies arse for the third time in my life (I'm getting really good - it was the right way round and everything) and it's back into town. Meet Loki, the most beautiful of Siberian Huskies (already a pretty attractive breed I think you'll agree). We go for an unexpectedly long walk. Or a short walk followed for a long search for where we parked the car depending on how you look at it. Home, dinner, bed. <br /><br />What you will notice is nowhere in the above description is there any housework, shopping for xmas presents of wrangling with my garden to try to make it look anything other than the very worst garden in the street. And it's Xmas next week. Fark.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-69468749407239300822009-11-26T17:13:00.002+13:002009-11-26T17:18:36.952+13:002010? Really? Are we sure?I remember being a kid and my grandparents saying, "This year has really flown" And thinking, "Bloody geriatrics, this week has gone on FOREVER" But really and truly, can it seriously nearly be December?<br /><br />I've been in my current job for 18 months, I've been in my house for over a year, my cats are actaully eight and five not one and four as per the side pane on this blog.<br /><br />Freaking crazy man.<br /><br />I haven't finished my renovation stories and it's time to start putting up crimbo decorations. It's a world gone mad I tell you.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-26609627061632332732009-10-23T10:44:00.003+13:002009-10-23T10:53:27.185+13:00No more booze?This is what happened after the last post:<br /><br />Monday night: Book launch, two vodka cocktails. It was at the 42 Below bar. Come on.<br />Tuesday night: Movie night courtesy of The Heritage Hotel Group, three glasses of bubbles. Then on to catch up with Antonia and pals in Cosh, glass of Pinot Noir.<br />Wednesday: Definitely taking this no booze thing seriously. No booze.<br />Thursday: Leaving drinks for a colleague. By some gargantuan effort manage to restrict myself to half a glass of Pinot Noir. Victory lap around the building completed. Go on to dinner with D&B. Decline wine. I am a pillar of self discipline and restraint. But then they weren't drinking either.<br />Today: A radio station is taking me to lunch. There will be an offer of booze. If the client (me) says no, they will feel they should say no. This seems like a churlish thing to do to your hosts on a Friday afternoon.<br /><br />And then it's Labour weekend. Three whole nights where you don't have to get out of bed and go to work the next day. Gawd. <br /><br />Can I do it?<br />Can I?<br /><br />I'm not sure I want to to be fair.<br /><br />Ah yes, the catch call of the alchie in denial.<br /><br />Not that I'm an alchie. In denial.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-59954144539153902272009-10-18T13:06:00.004+13:002009-10-18T13:12:10.795+13:00I survived...justSo it went ok. People laughed, no one died, no one got hurt.<br /><br />And then I drank 250 litres of wine and smoked 25 cigarettes. Bad. Idea.<br /><br />I just attempted a two hour run and couldn't even do half of that. I actually had an outer body experience. No more booze until after the half. That's the decision. Done and dusted.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-38060148828600022322009-10-16T16:38:00.002+13:002009-10-16T16:44:04.266+13:00Totally unproductiveI'm rounding out a day of being totally unproductive by updating my blog for the second time.<br /><br />I can't remember when I last felt this nervous about something. And why should I be nervous? It's a room full of people who are friends and family of the people who will be doing the improv thing. And if people don't laugh, so freakin what! Not a biggie. Just one of those things. No one will die, no one will get hurt, there will be charity laughter and then we can all go and get drunk. A win all round.<br /><br />So why do I keep throwing up? Why can't I concentrate on anything else? Why are my hands clammy?<br /><br />Clearly I have dengue fever. <br /><br />It's the only possible explanation. I am very, very sick indeed. So sick that I should probably go home and hide under the duvet and remove any risk of infecting someone else with this horrible disease. It's the selfless thing to do.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27335126.post-70274970462663804802009-10-16T10:11:00.004+13:002009-10-16T10:14:51.653+13:00Can't concentrateI'm going to write this to get it out of my system and get on with my day.<br /><br />A few months ago I went to an improv comedy show and it reminded me how much I miss being involved with theatre. So I did an improv comedy course. And then I did a second one, which I'm half way through.<br /><br />tonight we're having a sort of showcase. Where my fellow course mates and I will get up on stage in front of people we know and play improv games that we've previously only done in the safety of a local community centre with only ourselves to amuse.<br /><br />Every time I think about it for even a second my stomach lurches. I'm throwing up regularly and have been for days. This may very well be one of the scariest things I'll ever do. And it's by choice, my decision, I've opted in.<br /><br />Gawd.<br /><br />Off for a vom.Ranehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06491302956294312560noreply@blogger.com0