Mousemobile

The other week Andrew and I were driving around Aucks when I opened my glove compartment and a strange sight awaited me. Lots of tiny bits of paper and shredded tissue and some strange brown gravelly stuff.

Andrew: Um, I think you have a mouse…living in your car…let me check… yep, that’s defo mouse poo in your glove compartment next to all of the tiny bits of paper. That’s what mice do when they’re making a nest.
Lorraine: Are you freaking kidding me??? Where? How did it get in? Where is it now? Sweet freaking mother of JESUS.
Andrew: Chill out, it’s just a tiny little mouse and it’s probably splattered in your cam belt by now… blah blah blah

At this point he offers to taste the poo to see how old it is. I think this was a joke.

What follows is more “I’m a vet and tough guy and have no concerns about a tiny little mouse, so this is actually quite funny and I am going to make lots of jokes rakking you up about having a mouse infested car, which let’s face it is a little bit skanky until you say….”
Lorraine: Well I think if it is building a nest it’s probably going to be enjoying all of your lovely warm ski gear that’s been in my boot for a week since we picked it up from your Mum’s barn out on your farm… that you commented smelled a little bit mousey….hey…actually….
Andrew: Balls.

So we open the boot of my car and start pulling out his ski gear (well he does, I’m slowly inching away until I’m eventually about ten feet from the car). Jacket –intact. Trousers – intact. Brand new ski boots that he bought last season and only actually wore about ten times…uh oh. He opens the box and there are a million little bits of paper and material, stuff that looks like foamy stuffing… the kind of thing that you might use to stuff the insert bit of a ski boot. He lifts the boot out and it is STUFFED with bits of straw and paper and leaves. Basically a mouse nest. He starts pulling it all out and out scampers a little grey mouse and off it bolts under my car. His ski boot is RUINED. Poos.

Months ago I did a ‘winter warmers’ promo for work where we gave booksellers who took a certain selection of books hot chocolate and toffee pops. I got a bit extra so there were about seven packs in the back of my car. The little fecker took a bite out of every single one. That mouse is going to be in need of a dentist at some stage soon. So it had been living in my car, hooning around Aucks, fine dining on Toffee Pops and doing little tours of the car by night before snuggling up in it’s lovely warm ski boot at the end of the night. Ah bless. Stuart Little move the hell over! Little bleeder.

But that's not the end of the story. Oh no.

Turns out it was MICE not MOUSE and there was car swapping and dismantling and all kinds of shenanigans before we concluded that the second little guy must have bailed at some stage because all of the food was gone gone gone from the car apart from the bait in the traps but that was/is untouched.

At least I'm hoping s/he escaped and isn't dead of tooth decay and cholesterol down the back of the passenger seat or similar.

Although my car does go back to the dealership in November so maybe it's not such a big deal either way....