Broody?

Girls talk about getting broody. I've never got it. If you want to have a kid, have a kid. But if you aren't ready/sure/with the right person/ whatever, what's to get broody about? Yes I understand that at the core of it we are all just animals and one of our most intrinsic instincts is to reproduce. But the notion of getting 'broody' has always flummoxed me. "You want kids but you're not going to have them. That's not wanting kids. That's not broody. That's seeing a kid and deciding it's cute and maybe one day...."

I've had this feeling for countless children, numerous newborns, oodles of offspring etc. I can acknowledge they're cute but the rational part of my brain tells me that it's not for me. Not now. Possibly not ever.

And then yesterday I met Alexander. Not my ex boyfriend, the baby of my good friend Suzy. Thinking about him is making me teary. He's 20 days old and has those milk spots they get and is a deep purple colour. And he looked at me and smiled his first ever smile, followed closely by his second ever smile. And he was the most beautiful thing I have EVER encountered. Then he dropped his lower lip to wind up to a cry and I thought that was gorgeous too. And when he threw up while Gretch was holding him I wanted to rush over and clean him.

I got broody. I am broody. I'm not sure that I like it.

We're having a picnic on Tuesday. I can't wait.