Under pressure

I have just sent the link to this blog to lots of people and am now feeling the pressure to write something witty and erudite that simultaneously updates you on my entire life and illustrates my top ten political views.

This is an unrealistic expectation of myself though so I might just blurt out some shite.

I am about to give my tenth prepared speach in the Toastmasters programme. Anyone not aware, this is an international public speaking programme and there are literally thousands of clubs around the world including ANZ Auckland which I am a founding member of and the Vice President Publicity. I've been a member for two years now and it's been ace. I joined to improve impromtu speaking but the key benefit has been the shit sandwich.

EVERY time you speak in TM you get evaluated by someone and the standard formula is to commend the speaker on something they've done well, recommend some area they could improve and finish with another commendation. A shit sandwich. If you haven't tried this, you have NO idea how effective it is. I have used it at work, on friends, on shop assistants, countless customer services representatives and even my cats on occassion. Very effective.

Great to see you again, shame you were a bit late because I have to dash, but we really need to catch up soon because I'm dying to hear all your news.

Thanks for the proposal, it really was very interesting to learn about the benefits of tropical fish reproduction and how that relates to the asset finance industry, our sponsorship calendar was finalised six months ago unfortunately but I'll be watching the industry papers to see how your fascinating Guppy experiment works out.

Thanks so much for feeding the cats, they're going to love you because you feed them so much more than they need, look how happy you've made them.

Do you see how it works? It's choice.

Except I recently had an experience where it didn't work. I was trying to provide feedback which was in essence "Stop stealing my stuff or I'll break your legs" But I wrapped it too thoroughly in bread and she didn't get it. She just kept stealing my stuff.

Did I mention that I have a new flatmate?