Day ten - going Zen

About a week after I went unconditional on the house I had a moment of pure, unbridled, total panic. I had agreed to purchase a house that needed EVERYTHING done to it. From the foundations to the roof and everything in between. I have never changed a tyre, hung a shelf or even wired a plug. I wear six inch heels at all times, even to the hardware shop and I don't have a burly builder boyfriend.

I have never renovated a house before.

I have never owned my own home before.

What in the sweet, mother of fuck was I doing?

That kind of panic.

Then the panic settled and I was left with a small feeling of unease that lingered for about five months. What if I should put in two bathrooms? Maybe I should keep the door into the dining room rather than the lounge. Is decking over the back garden going to make it feel all built up and yucky?

And then I went all zen on it. You know what? I have never renovated before. I've never owned my own home. It's inevitable that I will make mistakes, I'm taking it as a given that I will look back and see things I should clearly have done differently. There may very well be tears at some point.

But all of that is ok.

Let's see how long that lasts shall we!