10 things my cats do that drive me nuts but that I tell as fond stories- now via my blog

1. Pinot brings in large live insects and sets them free in my bedroom while I am trying to sleep, Cicadas in distress and trying to find refuge under the covers with you are difficult to ignore.
2. Puck comes into the house making the longest, saddest mewls you'll ever hear and when you approach him to comfort him he runs and hides under a table so that you can't get to him as if his recurring experience is being beaten with a clothes hanger by you.
3. Pinot goes out through the cat flap, around to the front on the flat and scrabbles on the window until you let her in through the human door. Repeatedly. She also scrabbles on the full length mirror while I'm asleep making a continuos knocking sound against the wall and waking the entire house.
4. Puck waits until you're sitting comfortably, sidles up to you and lets you pat him for a second before moving five centemetres out of reach and sitting there expectently awaiting pats and scratchings.
5. Pinot knocks glasses of water off the table, deliberatly spilling their contents onto the carpet as she prefers carpet water to water that's in her bowl. She'll also do this with empty glasses just to make her point.
6. Puck reacts to the sound of the can opener EVERY SINLGE TIME and whines at you until you give him something. The only thing I ever give him that involves a tin opener is tuna and more often I'm opening chickpeas or beans or something else but he still whines.
7. Pinot waits until she can sense you're finally going to brave the day and get out of bed in just one more minute before climbing onto your chest and going fast asleep instantly.
8. Puck eats Pinot's food.
9. Pinot gets your attention by being deliberatly naughty. This may be the glass of water trick or could involve jumping up on the dining room table, kitchen counter or eating off your plate. The attention must involve a combination of shouting and moving towards her flapping your arms to encourage her to desist. Temporarily.
10. Puck, who is way less naughty than Pinot, reacts as if he's being told off when actually I'm shouting at Pinot about any one of the above things.